Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize