An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
