Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Nicole vs. Life
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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