God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
