Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
