I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
