i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
