Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Its about making memories worth repressing
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
