is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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