my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
