you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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