somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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