"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize