Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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