If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Randomize
