Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
