So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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