I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
