then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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