He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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