i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
