If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
