so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
