Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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