So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I need help removing her.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
