I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
