I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
