she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize