Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Houston, we have a blender
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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