If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
