everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
