Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
