I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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