The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
