and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
