So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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