Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think i have two assholes
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
