I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
