90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
