I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
