I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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