Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
