Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
