I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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