when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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