Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
