everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
