Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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