Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
