I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
