Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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