I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
