Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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