After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize