her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize