My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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