i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
