Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
