Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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