good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
