is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize