I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
