if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
