yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize