i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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