wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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