There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
