So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
